Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Is it okay to break up with a text?


My initial reaction was "No, never!" Until I recalled that I was in fact an offender of such an act. 

Now before you judge me, let's review the situation. l met a guy out of town when I was visiting my best friend. It was a set up from the start. He was my friend's boyfriend's good friend. Yeah, you know how that is

She texted me his picture and he was texted mine. He looked okay. We met and got along pretty well. We all spent the day together. Before I left town, we promised to keep in touch. 

Over the following months, we spoke and texted periodically but I soon realized it was not going to work. Our encounter was fun but strictly a moment in time. There wasn't enough sparks for me to pursue a long distance relationship. He seemed like he could be cool as a friend... nothing more.

I told him that I wasn't interested in anything more than a friendship. Without notice he flipped out, got weird and turned all fatally attraction on me.  He said, "I'm going to make you change your mind". Yikes! Cue the farewell text and number block

Was I wrong for that? He wasn't listening. We had invested no real time nor feelings. We barely knew each other. I felt it just wasn't worth going through any drama. Clearly we were not dating and our situation was nothing more than acquaintances getting to know each other. 

I think once you cross the friendship line and date on a regular basis or have a sexual relationship with someone, it is your obligation to break up the old fashion way. Most people will agree that text message break ups are messed up but the now you see me, now you don't routine has become an acceptable standard of behavior in the dating world. 


You know, "ghosting" the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone suddenly and without explanation by withdrawing from all communication." This has become so prevalent it is now in the dictionary. People don't think twice about doing it. It truly is the most inappropriate way to end any real relationship. 

In my circle of friends, when a guy abruptly disappears we all just say "he died". I think you owe the person you've been seeing the respect to break up either in person or at the very least over the phone. It's just the decent thing to do but why do people opt for the easy way out many times?

I understand that it is an uncomfortable situation when you realize you are done in a relationship. Many times you just don't want to deal well with confrontation or drama. Some people can become an emotional wreak during a break up. I get it, you don't want to witness their tears or pleas. Or even worse, some people can become extremely angry and volatile. Who would want to experience their wrath. But it's all part of the dating ritual sometimes good, sometimes not so good. In the end, the other person will appreciate your candor as long as you aren't arrogant or offensive. Stay respectful, open and honest so good things can come your way.

On a side note: if you are in an abusive relationship, leave by any safe way necessary. You can't fix another person and you don't owe them anything if they make you feel threaten or frighten. 

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