This question means different things to different people. Most people in traditional monogamous relationships believe sexual infidelity is cheating. Others believe it's deeper than just sex.
What if you're in a relationship and find yourself connecting with another person? Can you get all things you need from one person? Different people bring out different qualities of your personality. But when you are in a committed relationship, should you give up these connections with other people?
Is it cheating if you have a mental connection with someone? Could this be the definition of Friendship or is this an aspect of Cheating?
I have a friend who doesn't realize she is in a intimate relationship with a married man. Don't misunderstand me... they do not have a physical relationship. In fact, their interaction consists of strictly phone calls and texts. Their conversations are platonic in nature, no sexual banter.
But he shares his fears, dreams and frustrations with her, the things you would expect him to share with his wife. I've witness them talk for an hour with ease. He reaches out to her when he feels defeated, sad or even elated. He calls her every night to talk about his day. Her voice is the last thing he hears before he goes to sleep.
She is obviously filling a void in this man's life and he fills one in her's. She refers to him as a friend, but would his wife have the same understanding? Are they just friends or are the lines of friendship blurred? Is this cheating?
Webster's definition for "passion" is a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or someone. How important is passion, desire and sexual chemistry in a relationship?
Do you have to be physically turned on to tune in?
Some people will say physical attraction is everything while others will say it's not necessary. But all agree, having just physical chemistry with someone and nothing else is not a real relationship. As time passes, chances are it will never blossom into anything more than a fling.
Don't get me wrong. I understand that sometimes in different periods of our lives, a fling may be all we want or need from another person. Seeking that... what I like to call, Za-Za-Zoo is very common.
You know zazazoo, the burning primal reaction you feel for another person. Zazazoo has no rhyme or reason. Sometimes your carnal proclivities are sparked by the way someone moves, speaks or looks at you.
But my query is those times you meet someone and connect with them on other levels but have NO zazazoo.
If you don't feel passion for someone, are you settling or faking it? Can a relationship be completely fulfilling without zazazoo?
I posed this question to both men and women and received different thoughts. Men being very visual creatures follow the zazazoo trail and at times get caught into the net of their desires. While women on the other hand, many times they will forgo the physical zazazoo for the security of a stable guy.
Forgoing passion for the sake of being in a relationship seems to be daunting. You may ask yourself why would someone relinquish passion. After talking to a cross section of people here are several different rationales behind embracing the mindset of a "Zazazoo Free" relationship.
1. Friendship/Companionship
A Relationship with your best friend. Some people believe in this concept as they have gotten older. Enjoying spending time with your partner and truly having common interests is essential in a successful relationship. You must connect outside of the bedroom.
2. Financial Stability/Security
There are people who believe financial security is the most important factor to have a successful relationship. They feel in order to build a life with another person, there has to be financial equality. Don't think this is an opinion strictly found with females. Many men want their partner to be financial successful as well.
3. Limited Interest in Physical Intimacy
Sexual compatibility isn't important to some who don't have a strong libido or those individuals who are unable to have a sexual intimacy.
4. Fear of Being Alone
Many times people get involved because they rather have someone in their life than being by themselves. Sadly, sometimes having this mindset can lead to an unhappy and dysfunctional relationship.
Several years ago, I attempted to dated one of my platonic male friends. Everyone thought we would be good together but it didn't work. I didn't feel any zazazoo for him and never could see him passed the friend zone.
Relationships mean different things to different people. We spark connections with people that develop into companionship, love, sex and/or for security. But in those quiet moments, when you are all alone, it all boils down to what makes you happy and fulfilled. What may work for you might not work for others. But one thing for sure, who and why you pursue a relationship is nobody's business but yours.
